Sunday, August 07, 2005

Comment spam - tastes even worse than hickory smoked spam

I got my first comment spam today. Actually, I found out about comment spam for the first time today.

In response to my last post about Uzbekistan and refugees, someone posted the following comment (as anonymous, of course) - "read your blog, think you'd be really interested in this website" with the word website hyperlinked (I'm not linking it here since I don't want traffic to the site in question increased). Oh boy, I thought to myself, an interesting link related to my favorite topic of Central Asia. So I clicked on it, breathless in anticipation. Surely, this was going to be the greatest thing since I learned how to read.

It took me to a mortgage site - a 60 second mortgage quote piece of junk. Seriously. Needless to say, this put quite a damper on my day.

Now to hickory smoked spam. Being a spam afficionado (the meaty kind - not the clogging of the inbox kind), when I saw this hickory smoked spam on the shelves I had to try it. This was a few months ago, back when I was living in New York. One day, penniless, waiting for my next paycheck, I finally sat down in front of the TV, can of spam in one hand, spoon in the other, and excitedly peeled back the metal top. Oh the disappointment. It tasted like concentrated chemical hickory flavor. All the natural meaty goodness of spam was gone, wiped out by this travesty of a taste. Much like the natural happy goodness of my day being wiped out by the spam comment, only worse, because it was food and I'd been saving that can for a rainy day.

Moral of the story: there's only one good kind of spam - it comes in a can, it doesn't have any newfangled flavoring, and it will never go bad. It also will never leave you, which is why real spam is superior to a significant other. You'll also never get tired of it - and if you do, and kick it out to the curb, it won't come crawling back, and it won't pester you - and someday, you'll want more of it and it'll always be there for you to take back.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam...*breaks into song*...


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